


Indulgence

by WordsinTheFrost



Category: Metal Gear, Metal Gear Solid
Genre: @kojima fight me, Angst, Character Study, M/M, One Shot, Sexual Content, Started off as plot but then porn happened
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-09-30
Updated: 2015-09-30
Packaged: 2018-04-24 01:29:25
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,504
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4900348
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/WordsinTheFrost/pseuds/WordsinTheFrost
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>This... thing with Venom. It's not serious. At least Kaz doesn't intend for it to be.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Indulgence

**Author's Note:**

> Just a short piece I needed to get off my system. Might continue to write in this timeline in the future but for now this is what I have.

_This is nothing but an indulgence. A petty, shameful indulgence._

It had come as a bit of a surprise, really, the first time Kazuhira had allowed himself to look Venom Snake in the eye, mostly looking for something, anything, that might fool him into thinking this was the man he wanted to see, his old partner of 9 years ago. Seeing nothing but open trust and a spark of something else, something that reminded him of brighter days under the Costa Rican sun, was a bitter realization that made things endlessly more complicated. Kaz had wondered, not for the first time, how far did the hypnotherapy go – should he expect the person in front of him to share all the knowledge of himself the real Big Boss had? What about the memories of every moment they had shared?  
 

 _What even is the point of thinking about this? It's not like I intended to scoop as low as to pick up the relationship I had with him after everything that happened. With an imposter nonetheless.  
_  

And yet, there it was, Kaz recognised it in every lingering touch they shared, in every second too long it took Venom to break eye contact with him. It would have been flattering, to have confirmation on how the real Big Boss had felt (not 'feels', Kaz keeps reminding himself, not any more) about him. Flattering if said confirmation did not come under this form. He could have given props to whoever worked on this man's mind because really, not only did they do an impeccable job on the medic's face but they also excelled at imprinting Big Boss' persona unto him. At least on the surface.  
 

 _I could indulge. Nothing is truly stopping me.  
_  

Shortly after they return from Afghanistan, Venom had come to find Kaz at one of Mother Base's medical rooms and while he remained silent for the most part of the visit, the softness in his eyes as he placed his own remaining flesh hand on Kaz's shoulder spoke volumes.  
 

Still, Kaz ignores him, turns his face away each time the two of them find themselves getting closer - _old habits die hard_ , he supposes. And yet Snake keeps surprising him, meeting his coldness with gentle confusion but saying nothing, allowing Kaz his distance.  
 

Once the initial surprise and distrust are reduced to a dull ache constantly at the back of his mind, Kaz finds himself responding to Venom's subtle offers for comfort. He and this phantom were both just tools in Big Boss' service after all, Kaz had said it himself, they were already in hell, there was not much further down they could go. If Big Boss had no qualms using them both to extend his legacy, then Kaz would go the extra mile and do some taking of his own.  
 

The first time Venom slowly but surely, as if hesitant but backed by some incomprehensible knowledge, pushes his way inside of him, Kaz remains stubbornly silent, mouthing at the knuckles of his hand to keep from moaning. He has had dozens of bodies this close to his, women of all shapes and sizes, and yet every nerve in his own body screamed at him – this is not him, nothing about it is the same, the touches are wrong, the breathing is wrong, the --- he shuts it all down. Shuts down the memories of Big Boss and tries to relax around Venom's cock, now buried deep inside of him, unmoving.  
 

“Kaz, is this...” there's genuine concern in his voice and his brow is creased, waiting for an answer. Snake brings his hand to Kaz's face, softly brushing his thumb over one of Kaz's closed eyelids.  
 

Kaz opens his eyes and covers Venom's hand with his own. “Keep going,” he murmurs.  
 

“You're sure? I can wait for you to adjust.”  
 

So caring. Too caring. Also wrong.  
 

“Keep going, I'm fine,” Kaz repeats.  
 

Using his hands to rub small circles on Kaz's hips, Snake finally begins to move, in and out, establishing a slow, burning rhythm which forces a sigh from between Kaz's lips. Snake says nothing, simply embracing Kaz's torso with his bionic arm to pull him closer and to press an open mouthed kiss against the side of his neck. Kaz's hand tightens on Snake's shoulder as he curses himself for failing to remain silent, the warmth spreading from his lower back to the rest of his body and, without even realising it, he's suddenly hard, his erection pressing against Snake's stomach and leaking into his skin.

Snake brings his flesh hand down in between them to close around Kaz's cock and begins to steadily pump him in time with his own thrusts. Kaz reacts by placing his chin on Snake's shoulder and bringing his hand behind Snake's neck to once again press against his mouth. His breathing grows erratic and Snake appears to pick up on the added tension before increasing the pace, thrusting into Kaz with faster, precise movements, all the while working his hand around Kaz's erection and pressing kisses to his neck and his shoulder, brushing his lips against what is left of his partner's right arm.

With a last chocked moan, Kaz comes, his hand leaving his mouth to squeeze Snake's shoulder instead and his lips opening in a silent gasp. Shortly after, when Snake follows, Kaz is too overcome with self-hatred to truly, fully notice and he simply continues to cling to Snake's neck, forcing his own breathing to return to normal.  
 

If Kaz did not intend for Snake to linger around afterwards, Snake doesn't seem to care, carefully dislodging himself and reaching for the clean handkerchief on the bedside table to gently wipe the come from their chests; when he seems intent on cleaning between Kaz's inner tights as well, Kaz doesn't bother arguing, instead laying back on the bed and focusing on making sense of Venom's careful, reverent touch. Big Boss had not been incapable of gentleness, but it was a rare occurrence between them, both often too busy trying to get each other off in fast and, quite often, adventurous ways.  
 

Ocelot's words resonate in Kaz's mind, “the Phantom will, for all effects and purposes, _be_ Big Boss – his memories, his face, he'll have all the man himself has.”  
 

Looking down at the man between his thighs, Kaz wonders, not for the first time, how much of this Snake's tenderness might possibly belong to this man and to this man alone. Did his own nature expand on Big Boss' affections and translated them anew? Did the real Boss have this inside of him all along and simply never got the chance to show it? Was there even anything left of the man who worked with them in the Militaires Sans Frontières? When Snake looks up with a soft expression in his scarred face, Kaz turns his to the side, frowning. Taking momentary comfort, that's what this was about; Big Boss had made this man into a pawn and Kaz was simply playing the game, taking whatever he needed to see this through to the end.  
 

 _For revenge... Right?  
_  

If Kaz thought Snake would enquire on his obviously sour mood, he was mistaken, as the other man simply tossed the handkerchief aside and, after a moment of silence, moved to stand up.  
 

“Stay,” Kaz says despite himself, still staring intently at the empty wall beside the bed.  
 

A beat.  
  


“If you want me to.”  
  


And wasn't that funny, Kaz thinks, _it's so funny I want to bury my fist on that wall and punch a fucking hole through it. 'If I want him to..._ ' Everything he had ever shared with the real Big Boss had been about what they both wanted at any given moment, that had always been the unspoken agreement between them – things would happen naturally because they both wanted it. Bending your own will to please your companion was never part of their dynamic.  
 

Why this, then? It made no sense.  
 

Kaz swallows around the sudden rawness in his throat, “I do.” And without further comment, Snake lies next to him, keeping a small distance between their bodies, just enough for Kaz to close in with a simple brush of his foot or a roll of his hips.  
 

 _All for revenge. He abandoned you, he's no better than the rest of them.  
_  

The day will come when he'll manage revenge on Cipher, revenge on Skull Face... until then, he was simply condescending to be a pawn in Zero and Big Boss' game. Venom Snake? He was the means to an end, and nothing more, Kaz told himself.

_Yes, nothing more. This is just an indulgence. A selfish indulgence.  
_

If he eventually nudges Snake's ankle with his own foot, causing Snake to roll to his side to face him and tentatively place the cold metal of his bionic arm over the fabric of the sheet covering Kaz's hip, Kaz puts it down to exhaustion and all the confusing, infuriating thoughts on his mind.

_Nothing more._


End file.
